cupcakes. candles. iced green tea. <3

..and the sandwich bag full of melatonin at the right hand corner. lol.

i sincerely wish the best for the people i love. when i care, i genuinely care. 

i can’t stand seeing the people i care about going through hard times. i don’t know what’s worse.. going through hard times myself or seeing others go through them.

i really wish i wasn’t feeling like this.
i don’t know if i’m too scared or too lazy to be open to anything new.
but for the 10 brief seconds, the hug made me feel a sense of comfort that i haven’t felt for a long time. that i had forgotten existed.
his heavily tattooed arms were so freaking warm.

i’m scared of my own feelings.

i am not Buddhist. 
but my yoga instructor told us this quote at the end of class & i found it beautiful and relevant:

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday and our present thoughts build our life tomorrow. Our life is the creation of our mind.” -Buddha

perfect sunday.

rain. cold weather. vinyasa yoga class in the morning. a cup of hot tazo ‘zen’ tea. church sermon on investing in the Lord. cleaning + listening to podcasts. warm blankets, drinking hot chocolate, and reading. 

love.

더 넛츠 '사랑의 바보' 노래 가사 중에서..

“난 바보니깐 괜찮아
아무리 아프게 해도 못 느껴
내 걱정 하지 마
못났대도 할 수 없어
나를 자랑스레 여길 분께 가끔 미안해진데도 
기꺼이 난 그녈 위한 바보로 살래”…………………………

round trip tickets to Turkey are so cheap right now. 

Turkey is the one place i absolutely HAVE TO travel in my lifetime. i’ve always loved Turkey the way others love France or Japan for various reasons.

i’m so close to just buying the round trip ticket without making plans. ughhhh.

i will ponder this over some yummy thai food and black coffee. 

to do list this week:
-clean my room
-order the chinese book + audiotapes
-write christmas cards to people in korea.
-go to yoga

things i’m loving by bomiyah featuring knit scarves

(Source: http://www.polyvore.com/things_im_loving/set?.embedder=2643593&.svc=tumblr&id=38965164)

i have been praying about my parents’ marriage these days. there’s no real problem or anything..they are not nearing anything close to a divorce, and on the outside, everything seems fine.
however, although i have never been married before, i do know that marriage should be more intimate than what my parents have. they went through a somewhat arranged marriage..and their personalities clash. my mom is more talkative, childlike, reminiscent of a teenager that desires warmth..she was quite popular back in the days and worked as a DJ for a club in her younger years….. while my dad is serious, works hard, ranked #1 in his class and has never dated anyone before my mom.

more often than not, my mom’s been lonely and my dad’s been oblivious and sometimes annoyed.

so~ i wrote emailed this letter to my dad during the day:

아빠 나야.
다름 아니고 그냥 엄마랑 아침에 골프 9홀도 한번식 돌고, 밥도 먹으로 다니고, 일요일날 교회갔다와서 아빠 골프치로 갈때 엄마도 운동하러 갈꺼면 차 같이타고 그러면 좋을거 같아서 메일 보내. 요즘 엄마가 외로워해. 엄마가 잔소리 할때도 많고 작은거 가지고 심하게 말하고 그래도 주변에 엄마는 집에 있으면서 아는사람도 많이 없으니까 아빠가 가끔식 9홀 돌자고 하던가 일요일날 엄마도 갈꺼냐고 물어봤으면 좋겠어. 누가 시켜서 이메일 쓰는게 아니고 내가 엄마 나두고 내년에 한국가는게 안편해서 그냥 둘이 아주 다정한 사이 아니라도 1주일에 한번은 같이 골프정도는 다니고 그랬으면 좋겠어. TV볼때 말도 시키고. 
그럼 회사에서 수고하셈.

 annnnnd— i’m so happy that my dad was receptive. he came home and made more small talk with my mom and really put in effort. i know my email to him may wear out soon, but it’s a small step. my small efforts will not change anything for the long run, but i know that with prayer, God will bless my parents. 

but thank you Jesus for my parents’ receptiveness.. and although it will take continuous effort, please bless them!